I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize