Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
