he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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