babies were throwing up all over the place
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
