Are we in a gay sports bar?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
