how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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