Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
kristin has been a bad kristin
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
