Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Also, beer. Big fan.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
