You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
