I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
