can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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