Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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