and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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