I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I am one with the molecules
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
