hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
