Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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