We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
