fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
