he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
