I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize