OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
