Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
