i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
