i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
