dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
