R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
