careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
