I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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