You made me cry and you don't even care
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
