Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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