yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
pray to the hookup gods
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
