I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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