I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize