Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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