she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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