we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize