I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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