I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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