Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
