she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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