my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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