just come out here and I will go home with you...
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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