Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
