im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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