oh fat girl friday strikes again...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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