Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We left the knife in your bed.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
