Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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