I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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