addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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