last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
