You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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