i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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