I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i will never coherently bang her
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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