a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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