Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
