RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
