i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
