So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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