Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
