god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize