oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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