I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
