don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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