please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
